** NEW ** THE OFFICE SUMMER VACATION

Anniversary Crasher

So last week I crashed a golden anniversary reception for, oh actually I didn't even get their names. But their reception was at the PlaMor Ball room and the entertainment was Bobby Layne (heart throb!). I really like the Bobby Layne Orchestra and when I looked on their events calendar, I noticed nothing was on the schedule for the next few months. So I clicked the e-mail contact us link and asked if there was indeed nothing on the schedule. I got an e-mail back, from Bobby himself, saying that he was playing that week for an anniversary and I could come as his guest. So I went and had a fantastic time!

I'm also considering going to Greg Spevak tomorrow (also big band) but I'm really looking forward to the Tommy Bishop Band (big band) and their 60th anniversary party on Sept. 5. If you're interested, here's the schedule (or as my junior high school Bible teacher from Australia would say, shed-ule).

I love old people — maybe it was the first 6 years of my work-force life that I spent employed at nursing homes and assisted living facilities, but really the elderly are an exciting demographic. This was confirmed when I learned this past weekend on NPR's news quiz show, Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, that senior citizens living in retirement communities report having "relations" at least twice a month. Shocked but not entirely surprised (is that possible, because really I think that was my reaction).

Question

If one were to apply for the Marketing Manager Position at Cook's Ham, would that be considered a conflict of interests, if one was a vegetarian?

Mindreader

How can this work?

http://www.niehs.nih.gov/kids/mindread/psychicSparkle2.swf

SAVE THE DATE -- August 27, 2007 (It's a Monday, not a Saturday)

I've been Jazzercising for a month and a half now and I absolutely love it. I reluctantly went to a class with a friend from work that wanted me to join (Heather). I was thinking no way, not my thing. Odly, I was wrong. This is way my thing. I love it. Sometimes I go twice a day. Today I'm going three times.

So I wanted to let you all know that August 27 is open house for the North 27th street Jazzercise facility. (Conveniently located next to Eileen's Colossal Cookies) Come on out and try any one of the classes for free.

Just so you have an idea of how much I love Jazzercise, I signed-up to babysit jazzercise kids one hour, twice a week, during classes so that I can go for free. It's not terribly expensive with a monthly pass, but really I couldn't justify it in my budget since I have a workout facility available to me at the office (but you look kind of silly bouncy around all by yourself and it is not nearly as much fun). I regularly go to the evening classes but a couple times a week I make it in for the 5:40 AM classes. The evening class demographic includes: Students (college and high school ages) and working white collar professionals. (All women but I'm hoping Daniel will attend the open house and break down some stereotypes.) We like pop and hip-hop and we wear capris and tank tops. A word of caution: The 5:40 AM class is an entirely different animal. They are a group of fun-loving 40-60 somethings that aren't afraid to embrace tight spandex on not-so-spandex-friendly-physics. (I know, sometimes I can't look away. I want to, but I can't.) They wear the biker short type spandex. You know the ones you used to wear under your umbros, except they don't wear the umbros. Note: If you try to take their spot or over-step your boundary onto their spot, look-out you're getting mowed down. These ladies take no prisoners and they like to jazzercise to the 70s and 80s music.

I recommend Jackie's class at 5:30 PM on Wednesday's. She's known as the drill sergeant and she will work you. I like her music choices also, mostly modern selections. I also really like Tria. She has a couple of evening classes 7:50, also a couple of 4:20s durring the week. She does a great job.

But here's a treat for you. This is Judy, she invented Jazzercise, and yes her head is shaped like a bullet.

Are these showing up?

googly-eyes

Advertisements that I'm lovin'

"Meet/Meat me at Applebees" radio jingle, heard on KFRX 102.7. Goofy and catchy, this one is sure to leave you smiling, but probably not heading for Applebees.

Heard directly following the Applebee's jingle was an ad for Ashley Lynn's tanning salon. This ad features a couple of presumably shallow/ditzy females saying phrases like "I tan to keep up with my roommate's tan" and "Guys like girls with a tan," and "When I'm at the club, and I'm tan, I feel like I get more glances . . . and I do." But the best part is when the ad seems to come to a close and the listener suddenly hears a little newys-newscaster music intro (something you might hear along with the phrase "This just in") and the announcer says, "now for an important UV light update" then launches into statistics that say midwesterners are more prone to vitamin D defficiency than those who live on the coast. Artificial UVA/B is beneficial because. . . .

Funny.

But even funnier is the new electronic billboard (N. 27th st.) that now features an ad for same Ashley Lynn's salon: Two tanned and sinewy young adults next to the phrase "Faster and Darker". The best part of this is that the electronic billboard features several ads at once and switches to the next ad, which happens to be for St. Elizabeth's Medical Center, and reads: "If It's Cancer, Now What?"

This reminded me of another billboard I saw (West "O" ) which says, "Double-play, get KC Royals and Worlds of fun tickets for $29.00. From a marketing perspective, I thought that was a pretty good sales pitch. The two things kind of go together, you're already in KC, so why not? So I was thinking that St. E's should work out some sort of 2-fer-1 deal with Ashly Lynn's. Buy a year unlimited tanning, cancer screenings included?

Yep, that's why I make the big bucks in the marketing department.

a bumper sticker can say so much about a person

Like for example, my bumper sticker--clean water, our link to living-- Actually I didn't choose that bumper sticker as it was chosen (and placed) for me. I'm not sure what that says about me.

On the way to work this morning I saw a bumber sticker that said "I break for Kobolds." I didn't know what a kobold was so I thought I should find out. Where can I find a quick and reliable answer to my question? Wikipedia of course, because (in the words of Michael Scott) “Wikipedia is the best thing ever. Anyone in the world can write anything they want about any subject, so you know you are getting the best possible information.”

So this is what I found as far as the Kobold goes:

Kobolds are spirits of German folklore. The name comes from "Kobe" = house, hut and the word "hold" = comely, good (Paul Hermann, "Deutsche Mythologie") and is often translated in English as goblin.

The most common version, Heinzelmännchen, is similar to Robin Goodfellow and brownies: as household elves of ambivalent nature, they sometimes perform domestic chores, but play malicious tricks if not appeased (Hinzelmann is a particular example).

Kobold is often used in German to translate the word 'Leprechaun', a type of Irish fairy goblin.

So I'm thinking ok, now I know what a Kobold is, great. That is not a very funny or clever bumper sticker, so whatever. And as I scroll further down the page, I see that Kobolds are well known in the gaming circles and were made popular by Dungeons and Dragons (I refuse to link to dungeons and dragons anything). Still not a funny bumpersticker.

Bumper Sticker's I love:

"This is what a radical feminist looks like" especially when older white guy is driving daughter's borrowed car in the south.

"Sweet as Candy" especially when seen on an early 90's escort wagon driven by a hipster-hippy.