Wednesday, July 06, 2005

Cross Dressing for the Geriatrics

ok so i just bought this house (my very first one) and i've become quite the DIY, well in my head anyways. So much of my spare time is spent at Home Depot. So while i was there last sunday i notice an elderly woman in a mini skirt. Age spots, wrinkles, sagging skins, clearly someone in their golden years. To top it all off, this "woman" is tottering down the aisles slowly--with a cane. First i notice her broad shoulders and slim waistline, not the average build of a woman in her seventies, but anyways she turns around and i notice that she is tarted up like a whore. Red lipstick, red cheeks, aqua eye shadow--to the brow. This pretty much confirms my suspicions that this person is not a woman but a man and he/she is stopping traffic in home depot where us suburban home owners peter around for our house and garden necessities. Some people pretend to be looking at things nearby the she-male, as not to be obvious about their curiousity while others openly stare (i'm in this camp), but anyway my ADD kicks in and i wander over to the ralph lauren faux finish collection (the real reason for my visit) and settle on resort orange in the bright canvas technique (came out great for those of you wanting to give it a try). I pay for my items and head out to the car where i find the she male sitting in a black chevy blazer pulling at his/her blouse and adjusting fake breasts. I knew those were too perky for a 70 year old. Case closed.

2 comments:

CëRïSë said...

DIY is a dangerous bug to catch!

Ellen said...

too bad karen never checks this...she's too busy going to home depot for the fourth time in one day.